Mommy, daddy and Nicky love and miss you.
You were born 8/10/05 and we soon found you and were able to have you flown to philadelphia. I will always remember that drive because I had a migraine and threw up on 95.
You fit in the palm of my hand. You were a great little pup. Mommy and daddy brought you to our first home. Our apartment was small but you loved loving with us and going for walks.
Shawn bear was with us. He was your big brother and taught you the ropes. After a few years of apartment living, we bought a home with a yard just for you and Shawn!
You both enjoyed this space. And you both were our little babies and the focus of our life. After a few more years, mommy was pregnant with Nicholas and found out Shawn bear was sick with lymphoma. Stage 4/5, uncurable cancer.
We brought Nicholas home and had to put Shawn bear to sleep. This was hard.
This was the first big change for you. But brother Shawn was gone and now there is the baby that takes up all mommies time. Shortly after this change, you seemed to develop anxiety.
When baby Nick started to crawl/walk, you did not like this. Many times you but him on the face and arm. Sometimes were provoked and other times were not.
We tried to separate you and teach Nicholas not to startle you.
As Nicholas got bigger you left him alone most of the time, but after the face bite near his eye, mommy was always anxious.
Some time has gone by and it seems with your age and stage in life that you would do well in a calm environment with no children.
We adopted Murdoch to give you a friend but once you became even more anxious you started attacking him too. It went from growl to bite and shake.
Now mommy is pregnant with baby #2 and I fear that this will cause more anxiety and frustration in your life. Mommy and daddy wish we could devote all our time to you but that is not possible.
I hope you are ok in your foster home. I hope the best for you. I never ever thought I would give a dog away. I feel like I'm giving up on you and it's all my fault. I will always remember the look on your face when daddy put you in the crate of your foster mom. I hope you are not scared or having separation anxiety.
Even though it is painful to try this option, we are hoping that it works in your favor and you get adopted by a wonderful couple that can devote all their time to you! You deserve that and nothing less. I love you, will always think of you and miss you dearly.
Love, mommy, daddy and Nicky
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